But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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