you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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