I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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