you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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