They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
you had me at cake vodka
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
