just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You were trust falling into bushes
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
