Define "chronic" masturbator.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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