Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
