I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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