Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
