I want to make a zoo with you.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
