Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He shit in the fireplace
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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