I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
