having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
God, I missed his penis.
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