I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
