He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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