if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
