you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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