The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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