happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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