just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
