plz talk dirty to me
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
