I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
