and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize