If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
