i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
the liver wants what the liver wants
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
