she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
