This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He's on the porch naked. Help.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
