In the future we'll all be gay
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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