Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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