I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
