Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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