why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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