Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
