Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
