By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
