You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
