He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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