He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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