dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
