Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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