how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
