My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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