Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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