it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
