Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
