My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
