barbara walters just said penis...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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