bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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