that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You can't special order awesome
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
