At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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