I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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