i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
