flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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